Expectations and the Oregon Buddhist Temple- Revised

Last week I attended a Sunday service at the Oregon Buddhist Temple in Portland. They study Jodo Shinsu which is a Japanese sect of buddhism. I had been to a festival hosted by another temple in Portland many years prior, but that experience did not leave me with any idea as to what I should expect to experience at a regular service. I knew what the temple looked like from pictures, but I was truly walking in blindly. I didn't even know if I would have to take my shoes off or not.

I shouldn't say that I had big expectations, or worries anticipating going to the temple. Though, I think I did have this notion that the temple would be influenced by Japanese culture allowing for there to be pillows to sit on instead of chairs. 

The temple, it turned out, was just like a regular Christian church! Aisles of pews with a kind of stage or altar at the front, and a pastor, or reverend who spoke. Of course, what the reverend spoke of was different than what I seem to remember the pastor talking about at a Christian church, but I couldn't help but be a bit disappointed that the temple wasn't more like, a temple. I felt as if I was back in church as a child, quietly waiting for the service to end. 

Amidst my disappointment, however, I did learn something from the reverend's sermon; what I learned was an ironic idea, and quite coincidental, as it was about expectations. 

We all have expectations just like the one I described above. Yes, all my silly one had to do with was whether or not I would sit on pillows, but it did change how I enjoyed the experience. No matter how small or large our expectations are; if they are not met, we feel disappointed. Why we even have expectations, when we know all they bring is sadness, I don't know. I can't tell you the number of times I had expectations that were, of course, not met, which in turn ruined my entire day. The questions here are then: why do we make expectations, and how can we stop ourselves from having them? 

As human beings, we often feel entitlement and this is what causes us to have certain expectations. We feel like this should happen, or I should get this, because either we've done something that "warrants" a reward, or we have no reason to expect, but we do anyway. Entitlement is a kind of expectation which has no basis– no one owes you anything, and if you think like that, you won't be disappointed. We should all try to feel grateful for what we have, and maybe this will end our feelings of entitlement. 

On the other hand, our predisposition towards having expectations is different than having expectations through feelings of entitlement. In this case, we unintentionally make expectations with the awareness that there are consequences to having them. We don't feel entitled in this case, because we are unintentionally making expectations here. My shallow hope, or expectation that there would be pillows to sit on in the temple was an example of this. Ultimately, I do not believe we can stop ourselves from having expectations, but I think we can be at peace with that fact. Accordingly, we can decide that there is no reason our expectations should be fulfilled. Imagine the relief we could feel if we realized this.